Article By: Neil O’Donnell
What the Hell are you talking about?
Ever wonder what most REALTORS really mean? See below for the TPR (Three Pillars Realty) translation of frequently used property description phrases used by other agents. We try really hard NOT to do this…
Amazing price/Priced below market! – Probably NOT an amazing price or priced below market
Bigger than it appears – NOT big or I took those crappy photos on my Blackberry.
Calling all Contractors! – Literally, this is a plea for contractor assistance. Experienced renovators only!
COZY house/master bedroom/yard – SMALL house/master bedroom/yard
Diamond in the Rough – Desperately in need of renovation
Eight kitchens and bathrooms – Illegal rooming house
Funky – An artist’s house – you’ll either love it or hate it. Walls likely all painted a different vibrant colour.
Hurry Won’t Last! – Especially funny when it’s been on the market for 85 days.
Location, location, location! – House is a disaster, but the location is good.
Needs TLC/Handyman Special – Home needs attention – hasn’t been renovated or maintained in a long time. Expect holes in walls, missing appliances and possible mold.
NEWER roof/appliances/floors – Not new, but replaced by the current owner in the last 5 years. Or so.
Partial lake view – If you stand on the balcony, lean all the way to the right and have 20/20 vision you’ll see a sliver of lake.
Priced Lower than the Last Sale – Seller wants a bidding war – they aren’t actually going to accept lower than the last sale.
Priced to Sell – Should indicate a motivated Seller, but we often see this on properties that have been on the market for a long time, so it’s probably more indicative of a motivated agent.
Recreation room with wet bar – Expect 1970’s wood panelling, shag carpets and one of those retro bars our parents used to have.
Same owner for 40 years – This is realtor-code for ‘the property hasn’t been renovated in 40 years’.
Show and sell – Still no idea what this means but I read it in an MLS listing at least once a week.
Spa-like bathroom – Usually just means there’s a nice showerhead and the towels are white
Unique floorplan – Usually weird floorplan, with odd additions, no upstairs bathroom or the main kitchen in the basement.
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